


inside that winter (i try to find you)

by jenomeow



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Christmas Presents, Fluff, Getting to Know Each Other, M/M, Making Out, Not Beta Read, Secret Santa, i guess you can say that, kun best leader, leaders line, nct members love each other, taeyong best leader, this is soft, yes i gave taeyong a purse so what
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:41:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22089559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenomeow/pseuds/jenomeow
Summary: the leaders of nct decide to organize a secret santa as a way of bonding between units. yuta isn’t sure what to do with the name he randomly chose.
Relationships: Nakamoto Yuta/Qian Kun
Comments: 8
Kudos: 176
Collections: NCT Rarepair Winter Bingo





	inside that winter (i try to find you)

**Author's Note:**

> no the title of the fic doesn't have anything to do with the content but i don't care hmp. it's from miracles in december by exo btw
> 
> so cute bro canon au in which the nct members just give presents to each other and are cuties together ajdhsjdh
> 
> tiles cleared: presents, secret santa, ugly sweaters, hot chocolate

it was all taeyong’s idea.

ever since doyoung came back from boa’s concert which he attended with renjun, taeyong had been on edge. “i really didn’t know he was this funny,” doyoung had said over dinner.

“why?” taeyong asked, defensive. “renjun is obviously funny.”

“i mean, of course he is,” doyoung shrugged. “it’s just. i don’t know. it’s not like with donghyuck, who literally lives with us, or like jeno, who tries to be in constant contact with me. renjun is a bit more detached. more into his own thing. i’m always busy. it’s normal we don’t interact as much we’d like, so we don’t know each other as we maybe should.”

yuta, silently eating his rice, saw how those words impacted taeyong like a slap. he didn’t pay much attention to his leader’s antics because johnny was stealing his meat and he couldn’t let that happen, so it just was pushed to the back of his mind.

now, gathering all the nct members is a hard mission. not that yuta knows, he has never tried, but he assumes it must be hard with schedules and activities that are so different from each other. usually they reunite, _all of them_ , when it is time for an end of the year event or the annual “nct loves each other” party johnny holds every mid june. yeah, in a good lazy day maybe you can find ten members of random units hanging out at the dreamie’s dorm but like, never the 21 of them.

taeyong, however, manages to fit all 21 of them in a tiny storage room inside the SM building. why this place and not any other place like 127’s practice room? yuta doesn’t know and he honestly doesn’t want to ask. 

he sits in between a broom and johnny and watches how the room slowly starts to fill with people. it’s obvious taeyong dragged jeno and jisung out of their beds, if the wrinkled hoodies and messy hair say something. renjun is wearing casual clothes, just like chenle. jaemin looks marvelous with his hair done and makeup on point, he’s even wearing clothes that are clearly from a set of a variety show. yuta wants to look as fresh like him, but no, he's in baggy clothes, sweating and bare faced after a long practice, while jaemin is right there smiling to everyone and being the prettiest boy ever.

the other 127 members, including taeyong and donghyuck, are in a similar state as yuta’s, same thing with the wayv members.

once everyone is sitting on the floor and squeezed together in the storage room, kun and mark walk towards taeyong in front of everyone. kun clears his throat loudly and the chatting stops, everyone focusing on the ones standing.

“hello,” taeyong starts, beaming. “as a member of the leader line—” johnny snorts and taeyong ignores him. “as a member of the leader line, i’ve decided to join forces with the other leaders to do this. i noticed how some members aren’t as close to the others as they should be, being in the same group but different unit. that’s why i came with the idea of a secret santa!” he exclaims, excitedly waiting for a response.

the thing is, nct really is a group of mostly introverts. a secret santa sounds like fun, sure, but it also sounds as something out of everyone’s comfort zone, having to talk with one another, go out to the crowded malls to buy things, socialize. funny but that requires a socializing effort no one really wants to make if it can be avoided.

everyone but the dumbasses cheering for taeyong’s idea right now, of course.

johnny looks excited, yangyang is beaming, jaemin looks like the star eyed emoji. ten is probably happy too, and there must be more members expressing their happiness but yuta is squeezed in a corner and he can’t really see anything past johnny’s broad shoulders.

“yes, a lot of excitement,” kun says, smiling that kind and gentle smile of his. “however, as this is something we are planning for the sake bonding, we personalised it. the point is to go and ask other members about the person you’re gifting to, to try to know him better and have something in common by the end of the exchange, so we won’t be allowing you to receive or give to members you’re close to.”

no one says anything, just blinking intensely at kun.

“what i mean is that it would be pointless if ten has to give something to johnny or if jungwoo has to receive something from yukhei. or if taeyong has to give something to taeil. they know each other perfectly, and the idea of all this is to get to know better other members, so that’s why no one is giving anything to the members in the same main unit as them. dream members can’t get assigned a dream member. and, let’s say, doyoung can’t get jeno as his assignment, because they are already close. any question?”

there are questions. apparently chenle got distracted mid explanation and doesn’t know what the hell is happening. xiaojun asks for a mandarin translation because he’s _sure_ he didn’t understand everything perfectly and he _needs_ to understand perfectly. ten asks how is he going to participate if he’s good friends with everyone already. yangyang asks random things to annoy kun and jaemin joins him. johnny wants to express how pressed he feels at the possibility of getting something for the toddlers jisung and chenle, and soon all the dream members start to clown him and call him a boomer.

it is chaos. like you would expect from 21 guys in a tiny storage room.

“if you get the name of someone you’re close to you have to put the paper back in the purse and take another one. the same if the person is in your same main unit or if it’s yourself,” mark quickly explains when there’s a moment of silence.

taeyong and kun smile at the stupid questions and answer calmly the not stupid questions, as composed as the great leaders they are. mark looks slightly irritated at how the dream members keep asking why is he the leader of their unit if he’s not there anymore, and then looks nervous when someone asks him something in a serious manner about the exchange.

when johnny starts to translate the rules of the exchange for the third time in english but with a texas accent, taeyong seems to decide it is enough and asks them to form a line. for this they have to get out of the storage room and it is as chaotic as when they had to get into the room.

taeyong and kun are yelling instructions of how to get in line and where, and when they notice everyone separated into units like they’re used to do when they are all together to make the managers’ work easier, taeyong sighs loudly and tells them not to do that and start the line again but now randomly. “you can’t be with the members of your unit!” he screams when ten starts to whine about wanting to be with sicheng and hendery.

people who pass by look at them with curiosity, and baekhyun from exo deadass laughs freely at their antics.

yuta ends up with chenle in front of him and jaehyun behind him

the leaders have taeyong’s purse full with pieces of paper with the nct members names written on them and depending on who’s next in line is the leader who holds the purse and writes down who’s the secret santa of who.

“who?” he hears mark quietly ask chenle, trying to see the boy’s piece of paper.

“i got yukhei!” chenle exclaims, delighted. marks looks pointedly at the other, and there’s silence for a while, until chenle seems to understand what he just did and slowly he folds the paper again and puts it back to the purse, taking another one.

yuta is pretty confident in his abilities to get a nice gift; he doesn’t consider anyone difficult enough to discourage him. even the dreamies, who are little shits, wouldn’t be rude when receiving something, they are always grateful and respectful, so even if they get something they didn’t like they wouldn’t show their disappointment. even yangyang, who likes to tease, isn’t like that. they are just teenagers joking, not bad people or whatever, so yeah, yuta is pretty confident.

taeyong smiles at him and holds the purse. yuta takes a tiny piece of paper folded in four and when he opens it the name is there in taeyong’s handwriting:

_kun_

the leader sneaks a glance at yuta’s piece of paper and nods shortly, grinning. yuta is about to put the paper back in the purse and take another one, but taeyong holds the purse close to his chest and shakes his head. yuta sighs, of course taeyong would make an exception this time. the leader writes who he got on the notes app of his phone and signals for him to move aside and let jaehyun take his turn.

yuta and kun are not that close, but they definitely are good friends. good friends that evidently like each other but don’t say anything because they’re dumb. okay, maybe not dumb but there’s not time. yuta has been spending more time than what he would like in the united states and america in general and kun has been in china a lot lately. they talk over the phone and they have had dates and they could be dating if they weren’t cowards.

... fine, maybe they really are close.

he gets out of the line and taeyong extends the purse to jaehyun.

“i’m just saying it’s unfair to be the last one on the line,” he hears jaemin complain.

“it’s the same, idiot. you’re going to get a name anyway,” renjun responds, from his spot in the middle of the line.

“it is not the same, renjun. i’m basically getting the name of the one no one took.”

“are you saying that the last one in the purse is a leftover? woah, did everyone hear that? jaemin just called one of us a leftover,” renjun is just jokingly teasing jaemin, but jaemin seems in the verge of frustrated tears at the insinuation.

“i didn’t say that, nooo.”

yuta just ignores the screaming teenagers, opting to think about the one he got in the exchange. he did think he was confident, but now that he is looking at the piece of paper on his hand, he’s not that sure anymore.

kun would like anything yuta gave him only because he is yuta, one of his dear members, one of his friends and kun is just like that, the most genuine person ever, a person who lives to do good and be thankful and accept and support and if yuta gave him a rock with a bow kun would hug the fuck out of him and tell him how thankful and moved he was for the fact that yuta picked a rock _thinking of him._

that’s why it is so hard to get kun something for christmas, yuta notes. he doesn’t want to give kun something he will like only because yuta is yuta and kun would like anything he gives him. yuta wants to give kun something he will like because it matches his linkings, because it is something he _actually_ likes.

…

it is december 20th, twenty four days after the assignments for the exchange, and yuta is losing his mind.

everyone can know who you’re giving a gift to, except for your assigned person. and it is great, it really is, because he can really see why the leaders did this in the first place, as he finds himself getting closer and closer with the wayv members he didn’t talk to that much before, asking them about kun and what he likes in a more personal way, until they drift away from that topic and end up laughing and getting to know one another.

he has now six days to get his shit together and buy kun something, but he really can’t think of anything, not even with the help of every wayv member, jungwoo and the dreamies.

yuta starts to feel the pressure when packages pile and pile, all in nice bows and boxes with christmas trees printed on them.

the doorbell rings and jaehyun gets up, mumbling something about the third package he bought for hendery finally arriving. yuta remembers then how chenle looked at him as if he was crazy when he told the boy he didn’t have any idea of what to get for kun. “did you get yours already?” he asked, defensive.

“of course i did, hyung,” chenle says, puffing. “the thing departed from germany some hours ago. yangyang will love it.”

“germany?”

“yeah. it should be arriving in like, four hours.”

“how is it possible for your package to arrive so soon?”

“i paid extra, obviously. i can’t risk not receiving it with the exchange almost here.”

“there’s 20 days left, chenle—”

“money can make planes flight quicker, hyung. remember that.”

…

it is the 21st and yuta tags along to johnny, doyoung and jeno, who are heading out to buy their presents for the exchange. he still doesn’t know what to give to kun and seriously, why haven’t they made it official yet?

he was pressed against the counter of the wayv’s dorm with kun kissing him harshly, his hands on yuta’s hips and they were breathing hot shared air. kun got closer— if it was possible and they separated for one second and—

“what do you think is the most important thing when gifting something to someone?” yuta asked, breathless in kun’s lips, fingers buried in the other’s hair, and kun seemed to take a moment to regain his composure and make his blood go back up to his brain.

“um, maybe the sentiment you put in the gift?” he answered, voice deeper than usual and yuta smirked. kun rolled his eyes and cleared his throat. “i think the most important part is showing that you care.”

so here he is, going around the mall with his three friends trying to find something that shows kun how much yuta cares.

doyoung is struggling with the big ass drone he bought for jisung but refuses to let johnny help and jeno is humming while drinking coffee, as calm as he can be knowing he’s done spending money for the holidays.

yuta has ten’s words very present. “you’re getting kun something, huh. well, maybe try to get something he can have a lot of feelings about. something with a meaning? but don’t make it too sentimental or serious, you know how he is and he wouldn’t want to be moved to tears or something in front of the kids. he’s always trying to be strong and almighty so help with that and get him something with a deep meaning but that he can joke about, not take it too seriously until the two of you are alone and he can overflow with emotions.”

so something meaningful but also funny. yuta is starting to lose the hope when he sees it— that’s it, that’s exactly what he needs, what he wants to give kun.

he drags jeno with him and lets johnny and doyoung dealing with their bags and packages. they enter the cozy shop and yuta is grinning. this is perfect.

_“christmas is here!_

_why don’t you show your love with one of our sweaters? come and_ **_personalize_ ** _a sweater with whatever pattern, whatever phrase you want! we promise to have it ready in three days at most”_

…

it’s the 26th and everyone is fucking exhausted but celebrating nevertheless. the christmas events are always tiring for the idols, but it doesn't stop nct from reuniting and spend the day together.

taeyong has the dreamies decorating another tree, doyoung is making insane amounts of hot chocolate in the kitchen and johnny has his laptop open with the blurry image of a campfire in the coffee table of the living room where taeil and most of the wayv members are watching a christmas special of an american tv show dubbed to korean and subbed to mandarin.

it’s packed with people and presentes in there, noisy and not hot enough for all the people there; winter is tough this year. everything smells like chocolate and pastries jaehyun just bought and yuta is loving every second of it.

he’s curled to one of kun’s sides in a couch, one of his arms is over yuta’s shoulders and his other hand is on his thigh, and yuta can feel how warm kun is even through the layers of clothes. taeyong is singing carols with the kids (teenagers, pretty much adults, he reminds himself), doyoung is yelling at johnny and jaehyun to help him get cups for everyone, taeil is commenting about the movie with yangyang, yukhei has a sleepy ten on his lap, the ambient is comfortable and there’s soft music playing in the background. _this_ , yuta thinks, is _exactly what home feels like._

…

the time for the secret santa arrives and taeyong is telling everyone to bring their presents and sit down in the living room. all of them have a cup of hot chocolate in their hands and kun has a parchment with the names of every member and who they're gifting to. it’s a yellowish parchment, it has wrinkles and looks old; it’s a bit dramatic, totally something ten made.

“we are going to start with jisung,” kun announces. “jisung, please stand and describe the person you’re giving a gift to. we will try to guess and then you can hug and give the gift.”

they don’t need anything else but the “much older than me and i see him as someone who is _elegant_ ” jisung starts with to guess it is taeil. the guessing game continues until yuta is receiving a set of 100 earrings from xiaojun and then it’s his turn to give to kun, who already knows thanks to the parchment.

“he is very handsome,” yuta starts with a little smile, holding the gift box with a cute pattern of gingerbread printed on it. “he’s also the kindest, most patient person ever. he’s a great leader—”

“kun!” jungwoo screams. yuta chuckles and nods, turning to kun who is quite close to him and he gives him the box.

“i hope you like it,” he says while hugging the other.

“i will love it,” kun responds, eager.

kun opens the box and takes out a sweater, a classic ugly christmas sweater and everyone giggles at the silly images embroidered on it; mostly angels of wide white wings, a smiling reindeer and tiny santa. what catches the eye, though, is the phrase written right on the chest with a questionable font:

**_can i take a picture of you? so i can show santa what i want for christmas_ **

the room is full of people laughing and people making disgusted sounds. kun also laughs, his eyes fond and amused when he looks back at yuta.

“is this your way to ask me to date you?” he wonders, giggly.

yuta grins, his most beautiful smile on full display.

“oh my, it is, actually.”

kun doesn’t say more, opting for kissing yuta with the ugly sweater between them. the kids complain, pretending to be grossed out at the show of affection, and yuta has never felt so happy in his whole life.

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/jenosglow)


End file.
